You shook my hands halfway and limply when you said your hellos but you greeted the person beside me with a kiss on both cheek. What’s even worse was that while you were shaking my hands you were looking at her as if you couldn’t wait to kissed her.

You told me on the night that you broke up with me that you don’t want to have anything to do with me. You advised me to burn the bridge, to forget about you… to forget about us. And that’s what I did. It took me over a year to completely washed you away from my system. It was the most excruciating months in my life with the constant cycle of feeling okay and being on a depressive state (from hearing any news of you) again. Eventually, I felt better and now I could talk about you without feeling any resentments. I know that I am not and will not be completely over you and it is fine. I am fine with that because you taught me a lot of things about life and because of you I decided to make a lot of changes in my life. But that doesn’t mean that I want to have anything to do with you. Don’t go on thinking that I am still in love with you because truth is, I don’t have any shred of feelings for you anymore. Bye, Mine.

Did I just got excited over the fact that he asked my cousin (our common friend) if I have a boyfriend? What the hell, maybe it’s just curiosity that’s why he’s asking.

I don’t want to get excited because I know I’ll just get rejected.

I went to his place after more than two weeks of not seeing him. He cooked food. He didn’t use the newspaper as placemat but a rather fancy green disposable one. We had wine. Watched two movies. Nothing happened, no sex. I wish we could’ve been more than what we are right now.

I’m just happy to know that I still crossed his mind. After not talking to him for 5 days, he texted me tonight just to say goodnight. I’m very happy that he remembers me. Good thing I didn’t send him a text message first because I was planning to send one. Fucking happy right now! Can’t stop grinning. I know there’s no future in it for me but I’m just glad.