The past 5 months of my life consisted of events that I sworn, up to that point that I wouldn’t do. I did not really regret the wrong, drunken decision I made on the night I stripped my clothes off in front of a man I didn’t even know, except for his name. I know it was very wrong and please believe me when I say that I’m not the type of person who do those kind of things. I am ashamed of myself, but not really, no (haha). But I swear at that night on his bed, talking to him, I never felt anymore happy, daring, and above all free for many years. It felt like I was free for the first time and it was all because of him, his initiation, his sexual advances that set me free from myself. It was the feeling that I could begin again with my life after my ex left me. So, was it wrong for me to want him? No, wait… no. Is it wrong for me to hope that he wants or like me? I constantly asked myself, why can’t he like me? And the problem starts there. The problem is my obsession to the idea of him wanting me. I want him to like me, but I for myself have to admit that I don’t have any feelings for him. I want him though. I think I want the idea of someone loving me again. And it feels like he can see through me, all the lies and hesitations. But tonight, I will stop all of these pathetic things that I have been doing. I will just let fate takes its course. Goodbye.